I used to enjoy writing. As a young girl, I would always write my thoughts down. I had quite a vivid imagination, too. I was always writing stories with characters that did things that I wished I could do and possessed qualities that I wished I possessed. When I was about 10, I had the brilliant idea to write a series of books about a young ice skater. She won all the championships and always had the cutest boy in class as her boyfriend. I think this was right around the 1994 winter olympics, so I was going through my periodic gee-I-wish-I-was-an-ice-skater phase. Every little girl goes through phases like that - pony phases, dancer phases, ice skater phases ... I could go on forever.
I don't think girls ever outgrow going through phases ...
I geuss this new-found desire to write has come from the fact that I have been reading Donald Miller lately. I finished his "Million Miles in a Thousand Years" in about three days. In it, he talks about your story and how you have to be pro-active in creating your story. That got me thinking ... what about my story? My whole life has been a pretty cool story - it has had it's boring moments, but it's still pretty cool. I mean, when I was only a year old, my family and I moved to Nome, Alaska. And then when I was ten, we were living in France and then on to West Africa. The life of an MK is quite a unique story. I realized that I have a pretty interesting story, but no real documentation of it. I have memories of the big things, but what about the little things? What about the late night conversations in the dorm with my best girl friends? What about the heartbreak in high school when I realized a certain boy did not return my interest? What about the moments when God really spoke to me? What about the deep valleys when God felt so far away?
So, I have decided to restart my blog, but with a different angle ... I'm going to tell my story. Every day is a story. One story I have been thinking about today is my life before coming to Senegal. I taught high school French and I loved it. I love being in the classroom. I don't think I could be anything other than a teacher. I'm such a school supply nerd, too. I think that's a qualification for teachers - "Must love new crayons, pencils, pens, and erasers."
I spent three years in a great high school with great teachers and with great kids. I have many days where I really miss all that; days where I wonder if coming here was truly God's plan. Today was one. But today was different - I suddenly realized I missed all that because I missed how comfortable and safe I was before. I had a safe job in a comfortable community with a cute, comfortable apartment. Those three years I spent there, I was afraid to leave. I knew God wanted me to go on the mission field, but I was so comfortable. I did some seminary studies, I taught Sunday School, I chaperoned youth trips - I did anything that I thought would make up for the fact that I was not going ...
We all know how the story ended - I'm here. I'm not sure if returning to the mission field is something I can do long-term (definitely not single!) I know I will always be involved in missions somehow. It's in my blood. The main thing God has taught me through this experience is that I am not always going to be comfortable. I have to be willing, sometimes, to pull myself out of that comfortable little spot I have wrapped myself up in and take some risks. (People who know me really well know I am not a risk taker!) Coming to Africa was a huge risk for me and I am glad I did it.
I only have about seven months left here and I have been thinking about what I'm going to do when I return. I going back at the end of October and I'm wondering whether it would be worth it to apply to teach anywhere for the 2010-2011 school year. I'm not sure if anyone would hire me in the middle of the year. I'm also considering grad school - LSU has a really amazing French graduate studies program. The problem with that is they only accept new students in the fall, so I would have to wait till 2011. I know God has it all taken care of, I just have to remind myself of that everyday!
So I'm going to continue to write, hopefully everyday. We'll see.