What is love?

I had a GLORIOUS time in Dakar this past weekend. I ate waaaaay too much, stayed up too late, and spent too much money (of course!). Despite all this, my favorite moments were the ones I got to spend with Liz, Mallory, and Tricia (the two other AWESOME Journeygirls in Senegal and our AMAZING Hands-On volunteer.) We were in the same guesthouse so we giggled way to much. Anyways, one of our topics of discussion was the attention we get from African men here. Mallory wrote a hilarious blog on this (which I shared with y'all), as did Liz. So I thought I would put my two-cents in.

Men here are very straight-forward with their feelings. I have had many proposals of marriage and many confessions of so-called "love." To give you a taste of what one of these is like, here is an example conversation I had a few weeks ago with a Senegalese man at a gas station while I'm trying to fill up my moto. Also, this conversation actually took place in English!

Dude: "Why, you are American!"
Me, nervously: "Yes."
Dude: "Your hairs are very beautiful."
Me, now wishing I had gone to another station: "Err, thanks."
Dude: "Are you married?"
Me: "No."
Dude: "We should get married. I have always wanted a white wife. You are very beautiful and I love you very much."
Me, now sufficiently creeped out: "No, I don't think we should get married. I leave that decision up to God."
Dude: "Yes, we should get married. I will build you a house by the seaside. It will be very big and beautiful."
Me: "But my family is in America and I will miss them very much. I don't think we should get married."
Dude: "Oh, that is not a problem! I will let you fly to America whenever you want!"
Me, highly doubtful: "But are you already married? I don't want to be a second or third wife."
Dude: "No, I am womanless."
Me, now wishing I hadn't made the statement above: "Well, you should find yourself a Senegalese wife. I am not Senegalese."

**I should now mention that at this point my moto is now full of gas, the attendant has been paid, and I am ready to leave. There is one problem - "Dude" is standing directly in front of my moto and is not budging.

Dude: "Are you going to leave me womanless? I love you! I want to marry you! Don't leave me womanless! I think we are of the same generation and we would make a very good marriage."
Me, now insulted because this guy is clearly older than me: "No, I really can't marry you because my father will not allow it. You see, he is a very mean and strict man. He requires that any man who wishes to marry me buy him three cars that very day. He always says no to every man who asks to marry me."

**Yes, I realize I told a lie. But I saw it as my only means of escape. My dad is actually a very kind and loving man and I have never even remotely had a guy ask my father if he could marry me!

Dude, with a dejected look on his face: "Oh, in that case, I guess we can't get married."
Me, happy: "No, we can't. I'm late for something and need to go. Bye."

I zip away on my moto, glad to have gotten away. Now, I need to add that not once in this whole conversation did "Dude" ask for my name nor did I get his name.

I don't know if it is because of the American shows or movies that they watch. I don't know if it is because of the American music they listen to. I don't know if it's because they don't realize they are using the word "love" in a context that has strong emotions attached with it. I don't know if they actually think we are going to reciprocate the emotion and we are actually going to get married. Who knows why they are so quick to say, "I love you." But they do. They do a lot! I can't even count how many men here have told me this. And it's not just me! The other American women here (married and unmarried) get the same thing.

At first this attention scared me. I came from never getting any attention from guys in the States to full-on confessions of love! I have now learned how to handle these proposals. My answers usually range from, "God has promised me someone in the United States," to "My father requires a huge and expensive dowry." These usually make them forget all about their "love" and leave me alone.

Now, stories like this just make me giggle.

Welcome to my life ...

Ok people. My friend Mallory just wrote the most AMAZING blog post and I thought I would share it because it is so applicable to the life of an American woman in Senegal! Please read and enjoy!

http://thathemayincrease.blogspot.com/